Last Week: I Have a Better Idea!
On believing in miracles and crazy ideas. Plus, links and recommendations!
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Dear fam,
We made it through the first week of 2024! Well done, all! A few days ago, I was listening to Negin Farsad et al talk about meaningful moments of 2023 on her fantastic podcast and was incredulous at how many things happened last year. I remember all of these events, but they seem like they happened so long ago. A submarine got lost and imploded! A new king of England was crowned! A militia staged a coup to overthrow Vladimir Putin! There were spy balloons floating over the United States! Everyone found out that cryptocurrency really is made up1! And that was all in the first three quarters of 2023.
Last year was bananas. And 2024, with the presidential election and an imminent escalation of violence in the Middle East, is not looking super peachy to me right now. The year is just starting, and I’m already feeling spent.
As I listened to the podcast panel2 joke about various events, it made me think about how everything that happened has kind of concertina-ed into one big mish-mash of mess in my head. For me, the past year can be separated into two parts: Before and after October 7th. Everything that happened before feels like it belongs to a different world, one where I still knew something about people and the world.
Nothing feels very certain anymore.
I think (and hope) that by being aware of what I don’t know, I can find a path to growth. My aim in life is to be on a constant path towards living according to my values. I’m always searching for hollows where (I believe) G-d is calling me to expand my knowing, to get curious about how I can do better, to find ways to be of service to the world. Problem is, in this moment of so much helplessness, I don’t know what that means. Every day, I try to solve the puzzle.
It’s very hard to be in that not-knowing place for too long at a time. And, frankly, my kids need me to be present, not staring out a window wondering what the heck is wrong with the world. When Baby demands a bamba (her first word!), she wants it now, not after I’ve solved my existential crisis.
Also, if I don’t stay on top of things, there will be two outcomes: (a) the kids will utterly destroy the house, and (b) I’ll miss a lot of opportunities for fun with these crazy rascals. This week, they’re working together to come up with new shenanigans. Big Kid, in particular, is full of ideas. And he’ll tell you so about ten times a day. “That gives me an idea, mama!” he told me today, from the backseat of the car, “What if we go camping?” Friends, it’s 34° F today in New Jersey. It’s snowed over the weekend. Camping is, um, not on my top ten list of activities for the day.
A non-comprehensive list of Big Kid’s other ideas from the past week includes:
Making a disco ball so we can have a dance party
Buying three motorcycles for him, my wife, and I to drive. One will have a side-car for Baby, he says.
Making a town out of cardboard and other “materials”
Adding orange juice to my salad
Making a giant pot of chili
Ice skating on the wading pool we forgot in our backyard
He prefaces each of these with a declaration. “Oh! I have a great idea!” or, after I’ve suggested something, “Oh, no, I have an even better idea!”
The thing is, while a lot of his ideas are not feasible, a lot really are pretty great. Even if (often especially if) they seem kind of nuts at the outset. The disco ball turned out strange but cool. We didn’t add orange juice to the salad, but we did add a lemon to our smoothie and it tasted delicious. We didn’t ice skate on the pool, but we did make a town out of cardboard (the houses are pictured above) and have plans to complete a parking garage for the residents this afternoon.
We even went camping — in the living room. We put together our beach tent and got out our kit of camping pots and pans. Big Kid and two neighbor kids spent an afternoon pretending they were enjoying the great outdoors, complete with an encounter with a bear3.
What I’ve learned from living with Big Kid is that it’s a good idea to follow his lead on creative endeavors. He’s got good instincts, and he believes things are possible so powerfully that he’s able to get others to believe as well. Or, at least, to suspend our disbelief long enough to try out a bunch of wacky ideas.
He once wanted to make a paper airplane with a roof that would carry his Playmobile characters. I thought it was impossible because of the laws of physics. But, you know what? We actually made one.
And isn’t that a little bit of a miracle? Not the paper airplane. I’m pretty sure that was a fluke. I mean the ability to believe in something that should be impossible — even just for a moment. The willingness to try something even though it might fail.
I need to believe in miracles these days. Being creative with Big Kid and Baby gives me that kind of hope.
Logically, the next year holds nothing but more anguish for anyone who cares about Israel or Palestine or the United States. I have no faith in the current Israeli government to do anything that will lessen the violence in the region. Likewise, I am it’s not likely the Palestinian leadership (both Hamas, who are bent on the destruction of Israel, and the PA, who are corrupt beyond measure) will do anything to stop the violence. Quite the contrary. In fact, every single regional leader seems too hotheaded, too focused on retribution, to do anything reasonable that will actually help regular folks who want to live their lives. The United States is about to get swept up in an election season that’s already bonkers — and will surely only get worse as both parties get more desperate to win.
So much is still unknown. Will Hezbollah actually enter the war? How will the trial at the Hague play out? Will Donald Trump be convicted in his various trials? Will Benjamin Netanyahu manage to hold on to power? Who will be on the ballot in November?
And that’s just the countries closest to me. Other tragedies continue to unfold across the globe, unhindered (or often, even noticed) by much of Western media. Based solely on logic, it’s not going to be a very happy new year.
On Shabbat, I officiated at a Bat Mitzvah service. I still wasn’t sure what to write this email about as I sat on the bima, listening to the Rabbi I have the honor of working with speak to the tween who was sitting with her parents and younger brother. I always love this Rabbi’s divrei Torah4 — always powerful, to the point, charismatically delivered. This time, he was focused on the importance of kindness as part of how a Jewish adult moved through the world. He told her that her wisdom, her curiosity, her dedication to her studies are all important. But kindness is the most important.
I love that.
So, I’m going to borrow that idea. In the week’s parasha, Joseph makes a promise to his father — to bring his bones from Egypt to be buried in Israel. This is a huge deal. It means his descendants, when they walk through the Red Sea and wander the desert for 40 years, will carry Joseph’s bones the whole time. A crazy idea. An impossible task. A wild challenge.
An incredible kindness.
How can Joseph have sworn something so colossal? How could he have known he would be able to realize the impossible task his father had bestowed on him?
Jacob says, “Swear unto me,” and Jacob (referred to here by his other name, Israel) responds by bowing at the foot of his bed in assent. According to Ibn Ezra, a 12th century commentator, “[Jacob] bowed to God in praise.” He is putting his faith in God to show him the strength and capacity to fulfill this vow.
I love that, too.
I’ve written a bunch here about how the idea of a God-human connection is central to Jewish theology — and to how I understand my own spirituality. I imagine myself (and everyone) as connected to the Divine by a gossamer thread of light. That thread glows or fades over the years, but it’s always there. By way of that thread, God can inspire us to be a force for good and love in the world. The God I believe in is a Divine Spirit of love, one who wants us to increase compassion and love in the world.
I believe this begins by trying out the impossible. By having faith that things might actually work out.
I look at projects like Standing Together, or Combatants For Peace, or Women Wage Peace and think, “There is a paper airplane trying to fly under the weight of a plastic doll. There is a gossamer thread.” But the fragility of these projects, the improbability of their success, does not mean they are doomed. We can make them more probable by insisting on their possibilities. By investing in that which makes the world safer, more just, less scary than before.
I need to believe that there’s a way forward. That’s my prayer for 2024.
Sending love,
Mikhal
What I’m reading
- ’s collection of Poems for Your Weekend is a balm. Every single one of these felt perfect for the cold, snowy weekend we had here.
As always,
is a genius. Her latest for is called The Trouble with the Male Gaze and it’s wonderful.One of my new favorite Substacks is
by , who is writing about “life, cancer, death, love, health, and healthcare (‘health’ and ‘healthcare’ being distinct).” Her post, How the light gets in: a solstice at the border of life and death was breathtaking. So are all the other essays she has there, but start with that one and then work your way through the rest.How to ADHD is a new book by
that I just started and already love. Special shoutout to for recommending this to me!
What I’m listening to
The Wedding Scammer, a true-crime podcast that’s kinda reminiscent of Inventing Anna.
Dolly Parton’s new rock album. I mean, come on. This woman is beyond.
What I’m writing
A review of Straddling Black and White, a debut novel by Kim Salzman
An essay about ADHD and Sleep — to be published here in the coming weeks, so stay tuned!
I know all currency is made up. I was just referring to the general scaminess of Sam Bankman-Fried and his FTX co-conspirators. Talk about the bad kind of chaos. Yeesh.
The part of the bear was played by my wife.
sermons
Thank you for sharing this! :)